So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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