we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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