she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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