girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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