are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
