I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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