So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
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