Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
