I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
