Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
