I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just blew my weed a kiss
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize