consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
