Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
