It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize