its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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