when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
