I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
