I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
