so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize