I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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