i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
