Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
