It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
