Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
