talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
