btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
