His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
