u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Randomize