You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Where did you get a picture of my penis
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
