He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
