Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she looked like the before picture.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
