I wannas sexs uuuuu
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
