I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
