I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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