did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
