This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Randomize
