there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
