So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
