we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
