The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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