I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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