If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
