how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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