she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize