Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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