and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
