maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
