im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
