Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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