the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
