While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
