Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The convent might be a nice break from real life
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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