If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
