I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
