I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
