i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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